The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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