She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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