i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
