Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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