So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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