Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
pop tarts are not kleenex
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
