Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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