Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
