Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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