im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
