I'm jealous of your bromance
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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