You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
