Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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