Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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