Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
