I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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