i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
