i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
