The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
