wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
