it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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