he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh god it's open bar.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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