do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Houston, we have a blender
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
