Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
