i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
