just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
