My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
