OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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