she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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