This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize