the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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