It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
