he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize