no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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