I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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