hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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