i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
