Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize