You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize