you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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