Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
