you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
