This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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