elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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