Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
