im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
