I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize