Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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