omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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