Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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