I wannas sexs uuuuu
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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