Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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