Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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