her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
