you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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