as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
