Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
