this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
