She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
