Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
