the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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