I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
